A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar...

Alright, I don't really have a good joke here. But maybe I should come up with one! That's the teaching from a workshop in England that focuses on training clergy to use the presentational skills of a stand up comic. Intriguing! Read on:

British clergy are seeking preaching tips from stand-up comedians. Not that
there's anything wrong with that. (rimshot)
In February, the annual Leicester
Comedy Festival introduced a new workshop to help clergy preach better. Leader
and comedian Andy Kind wants to make Christianity more accessible to average
people. The course focused on improving body language, voice modulation, and
overall performance skills. Kind wants to build the preachers' confidence and
self-awareness, while encouraging them to be engaging and
relevant.
"Christianity can be seen as something terribly serious, but Jesus
must have been a great laugh to have had such a following," Kind says. "He used
humor and so can we."

I agree with this, and think we could all use a little extra humor in our lives, and in our preaching and ministry. Of course, I've had many people tell me my ministry is nothing but a joke.... Not that we want to come across overly light-hearted, but I think too many pastors come across way too heavy-hearted and serious. We have a variety of tools at our disposal to communicate the Gospel. Humor is certainly one of them, and at the appropiate time, can be a very effective one.

Memory Almost Full

This is the title of Paul McCartney's latest album (Not that I like the Beatles! I just happened upon this press release), and it got me thinkin'

Paul McCartney says the inspiration for the title of his latest album, “Memory
Almost Full,” came from a phrase he saw on his cell phone. “It seemed
symbolic of our lives today,” the 65-year-old ex-Beatle said Monday. “Your
messages are always full. And your mind is always full. And it
doesn’t matter if you’re my age or 20, I think that we all need to delete stuff
every so often.”

For the first time, I’ve been inspired by the Beatles! Not from listening to their music, but from reading this article on McCartney’s latest release. It inspired my sermon for this week, which is from Philippians 3. I’m still doing a sermon series on Philippians (thanks Brett!) and this week’s teaching is focused on vs. 13: “But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,…” I think this resonates with McCartney’s statement that we need to delete stuff. We need to let go of certain things from our past – baggage we’ve been carrying, negative attitudes, old grudges, sinful behaviors, etc. – and free up some room for the exciting new things that God wants to fill our lives with. Ready with the delete key, everyone!

The Numbers Game

What a great month it has been! We welcomed 6 new members into our fellowship last week, all but one by profession or reaffirmation of faith. 3 of them had been out of any church fellowship for the past 12 years, 1 of them is a recent convert, and 2 just moved to the area. We celebrate their commitment and welcome them to our congregation. As I updated our membership records, I started looking at the numbers, and what I saw surprised me. This year, we've added 10 new members. Last year, we added 23. That's very exciting! But, our average attendance is down from 127 to 117 over the last 2 years. We've had some deaths and some folks moved away, but not enough to account for 33 new people and 10 less in attendance! What gives? I looked at a listing of our regular attenders (those who are here at least twice a month). 180 people. And yet, our average attendance is 117. That means that 1/3 of our regular attenders miss on any given Sunday! Discouraging. However, I am encouraged that we have 180 people who are committed members and who attend regularly. This isn't a Christmas and Easter crowd, me and our PPR looked over our attendance and together came to the conclusion that we do have an active congregation of 180, yet our attendance is closer to 120. A few years ago, our regular attenders numbered closer to 150, so we do have 30 more than we did. Are people just less committed to attending worship than they were before? I'm really struggling to figure out this trend. Anyone else run into things like this?

A Lesson from Wal*Mart

When I started out in retail management, I worked for a Wal*Mart store in Richmond, VA. The next closest store was in Mechanicsville, about 20 miles away. The 'suits' in Bentonville decided to build a brand new Wal*Mart about 2 miles from our store. We were doing about $40 million a year in sales, and were quite distraught that a new store would be opening so close, 'stealing' all of our customers. Wal*Mart's philosophy was simple - if store A does $40 million a year in sales, we're limited to that. But if we build store B and generate $30 million in sales, and store A then does $10 million less than the previous year but still does $30 million, then Wal*Mart Corporation gets $60 million between store A and B, instead of only $40 million just from store A. They built the new store, and it affected our sales a little bit, but overall, we knew the company was doing better as a result of the new store.

At Bethany UMC, we're looking into starting a second service on Sunday mornings. Some folks are concerned that it will split the church into 2 groups who will no longer know each other, or that our 'main' worship service will lose people and we'll be smaller. But most people seem to be enthused about the idea and are hopeful that it will be a good thing for our church. They understand Wal*Mart's principle of growth, and are willing to sacrifice a bit of their familiarity for the prospect of reaching new people with the gospel. We're not growing like we think we can, so we are looking to try some new things to generate growth and reach more people.

Making an Exception

Typically, I'm pretty laid back, but I can be pretty anal retentive when it comes to certain things. One of those things involves premarital counseling for weddings. I have a marriage policy with fairly high standards, and I don't normally make exceptions to it. But I had a couple approach me back in May, in desperate need of a pastor to officiate at their wedding. They had no church affiliation, but had been planning their wedding for the past 18 months with an ordained clergy person from another denomination. Everything was in place, and 3 weeks before the wedding, this pastor told them he had to go to a conference that weekend, but he would find someone else to do their wedding. Long story short, he left them in the lurch, and they came to me through a member of my church. Normally I wouldn't perform a wedding with only 3 weeks notice and little time to connect with the couple or do adequate premarital counseling. But after hearing their story and seeing the need they had as a result of this unreliable pastor, I agreed to do the wedding if they would come to church at least for the few weeks remaining before the wedding, and come for premarital counseling with me. They did so, and I married them. Fast forward to September. This couple, AND the bride's parents, are now taking the membership class, getting involved actively in ministry, and are joining the church. On top of that, the groom got saved during this time period, as a result of seeing how God opened all of the doors necessary to help them get married in their time of need. I don't make exceptions often, and I'm not recommending that we as pastors relax our standards regarding premarital counseling, baptisms, weddings, etc. But in certain cases, there are some real opportunities to reach people and help them in a time of need, and I rejoice when things work out. Too many times, I feel people 'use' the church to get what they want, and then we never hear from them or see them again. Until the next time (baptism, funeral, etc. - you all know the drill!). This was one occasion, however, when the church met a need, and the people responded by being drawn to God. Praise God for this!

NewComers Class

We started our Fall NewComers class at Bethany this morning, and it went great! This is a 4 week class that we hold for people who are interested in joining the church. It's a great way for new people to get to know each other, and to get to know about the mission, vision, and ministries of our church. The class members really responded well to everything today, and I am looking forward to guiding them through this and welcoming them into our fellowship in October. What kind of things do all of you do for new people, and for those who are looking to join the church? I started requiring this class for people at my last church, and here at Bethany, and it has really been a good thing.

Balaam's Ass

Have you ever decided on a certain course of action, perhaps even being convinced that it was God's will, only to find that obstacle after obstacle presented itself? For every door that opens, 2 more close. I guess it is still just learning how to discern the will of God, rather than our own human will. Balaam set out on a course of action, and thanks to his ass (meaning donkey, all you members of the explicit content control board!) he was prevented from pursuing it in his own way. Three times Balaam attempted to get his ass in gear, so to speak, and three times he was thwarted in his attempt. At last his eyes were opened, and he could clearly see that God was really the one preventing him from moving forward, until Balaam approached things from God's perspective, not his own. I know there have been times in my life where I have tried very hard to move things forward, or to try something that I truly believed God was leading me to, only to find the path blocked over and over again. It takes awhile, but I finally come to the realization that either my motives aren't right, or the timing isn't right, (or it's just a hare-brained idea to begin with!) or for reasons unbeknownst to me, God isn't leading this one- I am. It is a lesson for me to make sure I realign myself with His will, not my own. Next time you think someone is being an ass, maybe you should be thankful for them! They could be keeping you out of trouble.